Truly Random, Mostly Geeky, Always Awesome!

I Still Have It

Just when I thought I had lost my sense of humor, someone sends me this to fill out. I tried my very best to be honest!

What is in the back seat of your car right now?
Car seats

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Dealing with children that have no concept of sleeping in.

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Attempting to work.

What is your favorite board game?
Crossbows and Catapults....a childhood favorite that I've recently discovered exists in a new version and I must have it to teach my children how to fling small objects across a room to destroy their oppenents castles.....not like they really needed to be taught that.

Have you ever been to a strip club?
My choice of employment is really none of your business.

What is the last thing you yelled aloud?
"NO.....Hey...NO...NO......NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

What is the best ice cream flavor?
Whatever flavor I'm having a beer with.

Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
No, though I did dig out an old sweater I never where. Made me look like Ward Cleaver or any other 50's Dad. All I needed was a pipe and a glass of scotch.

What's the last sporting event you watched?
Tigers vs. Little Rock. Fun to be at the live event but a snoozefest of an actual game.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Japan...."Sayonara, gaijin! Konnichiwa Nippon! Anata wa kure o...." I forget the rest.

Who is the last person you sent a message on myspace?
MySpace is the Devil's website. Am I showing my age?


Ever go camping?
It's been a while. The better half is not a fan of lack of electricity or plumbing.

Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
My dignity while praying to the porceline god.

Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
LOL! ;) :) ;p STFU.


What did your last text message say?
"Looking at cars, will call in a bit"

Are you someone's best friend?
Possibly. I'm sure I'm someone's best enemy too.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Picking up Mom from the airport, preparing for a buttload of people to invade my home.

Where is your mom right now?
On her way to Los Angeles.

Look to your left, what do you see?
A cup of java, a lamp, my wallet, cell phone, and work papers. Bleh.

What color is your watch?
I've broken my watches so I've re-grown my arm hair where it used to be making me mas sexier than ever! I tell time by sundial. Ok, by cell phone. Sheesh.

What do you think of when you think of Australia ?
How underrated Crocodile Dundee 2 really was.

Do you have a dog?
Do stuffed ones count?

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
My Mom.

Any plans today?
Don't you people freakin' work?

Are you happy?
Define 'happy'. Will you settle for 'content while under a minor buzz'?

Biggest annoyance in your life?
Cold. It's been flippin' cold here and it messes up my wondrous physique.

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
My Vans or my Airwalks when I actually get a casual moment. They make me miss my skateboard.

Are you jealous of anyone?
Not in the traditional sense with any particluar person.

Is anyone jealous of you?
You wouldn't want all this? They don't call me the Awesome Sauce for nothing!


Do any of your friends have children?
Why yes!

What do you usually do during the day?
Doesn't anybody else, you know, actually WORK?????

Do you hate anyone right now?
The person that wrote up this survey.

Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Only if they don't answer to "Hey", "Yo", or "WhadUp?"

How many kids do you want to have?
NO MORE!

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
37.....and quit laughing. You know who you are!


How did you get one of your scars?
A Mosh pit! And I'm totally proud of that!

Do you like waking up in the morning to find that you have new texts?
No, because they are usually from my boss who thinks everyone should be up at 6am.

Are you usually wide awake in the mornings?
Are you high? Where do you score?

Has anything disappointed you today?
Today is a brief moment of actual contendeness, so No.

Does anyone like you?
You wouldn't want all this? They don't call me the Awesome Sauce for nothing!


Say two things to anyone, no names:
Of all the things I've loved and lost, I miss my mind the most.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt and then it turns hilarious.

How old were you when you started swimming on your own?
8 or so, though I still don't really 'swim'. 'Flounder about' might be more accurate.

Are you wearing rings?
My wedding band is the extent of my bling.

Are you confident in yourself?
A lot more than I used to be. I'm pretty awesome actually.

Are you hanging out with anyone tonight?
Just my kids, and whatever booze we conjure from the cabinet after the go to sleep.

Does it bother you when you text somebody and they take forever to text back?
No, as I'm a pretty poor culprit myself these days.

What's your favorite milkshake flavor?
That cherry falvor they can make me at the Baskin Robbins, except they are so dang expensive!

Are you currently doing laundry?
No, that's women's work......what do you mean I'll never have sex again?

Did you ever read any of the Babysitters Club books?
Finally, it has been revealed that this survey originated from a 10 year old. Oh, and hearty "Hell No" to answer your question.

Do you have a job?
Yes, apparently to pay taxes for soul-sucking tweeners that don't have anything better to do than sit around and create surveys to answer.

What can't you wait for?
This system to end, or a Nintendo Wii. Whatever comes first.

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Closed. I'm still afraid of the Boogeyman.

Are you in an argument with someone important?
No one is important enough to argue with. Wow, that was almost profound!

What is bothering you right now?
My back and my neck. And the fact that I want it to be tomorrow.

Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but never do?
I almost prefer that people don't call, unless its to hang out.

If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
The comic shop.

Did anyone call you baby today?
Not yet. It's still early.


Are you honestly happy with who you are?
Am I happy with being jaded? Interesting question. Let me get back to you.

If you're being extremely quiet,what does that mean?
That I'm planning your downfall.

Are you a patient person?
Not when your slow-ass car is blocking mine in the fast lane, numb-nuts.

Are you a light sleeper or heavy sleeper?
It used to be heavy in the days before children, now I wake up for everything....and it angers me!

Is there any emotion you're trying to avoid right now?
Emotions are for the weak. Pure, cold logic is where its at, like Spock. Spock rules, though Kirk is cool too. But none of those Next Generation guys were cool, except maybe Picard.......

Does it take a lot to make you cry?
Bob Dylan once wrote "It Takes a Lot to Laugh, It Takes Train to Cry." I really don't know what that means.

What do you do when your nervous?
Drink....or cough uncontrollably.

What does the 20th text message in your inbox say?
I clean out my inbox. So should you.

How are you currently feeling?
Getting pretty dang sick of typing this survey.

Has anyone ever broken your heart?
This now reminds me of the 'hatred' questions.

When is the last time you cried?
Why do these things revisit the same questions, only worded differently?

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
The love of my life.

Don't you hate waiting for someone to show up somewhere?
It's hard to berate them when they obviously got stuck doing this stupid survey!

Are you a jealous person?
You already asked this! GAH!!!!!

If you could go back in time would you change it or just go back to it?
I'd go back and re-decide whether I should have filled this dumb thing out!

Can you sleep without blankets on?
It's a little uncomfortable in the nude.

What's your view on taking risks?
I have no issue letting you take risks.

Ain't It Dead Yet?

OK, for the one or two people that perhaps might check in and read this, an update.

I've become quite reclusive. Yeah, I know, shock and awe! And from checking in on other blogs (those that I'm allowed to see or recall the addresses) perhaps I've started an epidemic.

My biggest problem is that I really like this outlet for creative writing, wit, or humor. Unfortunately much of what I used to be has been replaced with bitter sarcasm, boring non-events, work-related crap, and a downright fear and loathing for some of the decisions I've made in my life. A hole I've dug myself into.

In other words not awesome blog material, at least not the way I prefer to blog, and why burden down the rest of the internet?

If I ever get my mind cleared, or make better decisions, or if something actually exciting ever happens again, I'll have more to say.

Hamlet - Emo Prince of Denmark

I was about to put up a pic of a chalk outline of a murder victim and claim this blog dead. I'm drowning at work and pretty much despise looking at my computer at home. But then I got an email from my friends at SciFi Japan to check out this guys videos and help come up with some interview questions for them. The guy has a fantastic sense of humor mixed with pop culture refs and current events. I'm glad I checked them out. I needed a laugh! Also check out this one on Michael Phelps:



I think I'm going to go waste an hour getting some laughs.

Big Hair Ball

I don't know what it is. Perhaps it was the Ashley admitting she knew all the words to Warrent's Cherry Pie. Maybe it was the tingle in my spine hearing an instrumental take on Black Sabbath's Iron Man over the end credits of the Jon Favreau movie take on the comic book character. Possibly due to that "Ace of Cakes" episode Carreen made me watch. It could be due to finding that surreal Thor -God of Metal YouTube video. Most likely, it was the lamenting of my lost youthfulness while in a self-medicated stupor due to a pulled muscle in my shoulder ("describe...excrutiating").

Any way....I've had heavy metal "big hair bands" on my mind a lot.

Like you needed it, here's a short list of 80's hair band glam rock heavy metal power ballads no mix tape should be without:

Metal Health (Bang Your Head) - Quiet Riot - Everyone knows Cum On Feel The Noize more, but this song is better and was an original. Metal Health will drive you mad!

Poison - Alice Cooper - "I want to kiss you but your lips are filled with poison!" Yup, every other girl I ever dated. No, I'm not related to Alice in any way. I'm not worthy.

Cherry Pie - Warrant - My kids think this song is actually about pie. I plan on keeping it that way.

Every Rose Has It's Thorn - Poison - Every list needs this power ballad. I'm holding my lighter up and swaying as I type this.

Seventeen - Winger - This song was creepy enough when Kip Winger was 20-something and singing about a 17-year-old dish. Now, twenty years later and I want you to imagine Kip doing his 40-something thing at some club or fairgrounds someplace, belting this song out. Ewwwww.....

Round and Round - Ratt - I love the way this band name is spelled. I also still want the T-Shirt of the sewer rat frying on the amp (maybe it was a mixing board?). Ah...junior high memories.

We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister - An early, rebellious song. I wasn't allowed to watch this music video as a kid. At least when Mom was watching me!

You've Got Another Thing Coming - Judas Priest - I like Turbo Lover more (because I'm an egomaniac) and Breaking The Law is a bit more metal, but this works. Little known fact: My wife would be a Judas Priest groupie if we let her.

Nobody's Fool - Cinderella - Great song, crappy band name.

Here I Go Again - Whitesnake - Remember that brunette from the video, Tawny something-or-other that could backflip over the hood of cars? Is that why every brunette from 1986 onwards lied and said they were the one in the video?

Jump In The Fire - Metallica - Remember when Metallica was a hair band, before they got all whiny and went around suing Napster? Put on Kill 'Em All and recall simpler times.

Photograph - Def Leppard - Yeah, yeah, yeah....Hysteria was a more popular album than Pyromania, but yeesh...even my Mom listened to Hysteria. I have to retain at least one shred of dignity after posting this list.

Welcome to the Jungle - Guns 'N Roses - Paradise City is more 'arena rock', otherwise I may have added that, but this put Axl, Slash and the rest on the map. Too bad Chinese Democracy may be a pathetic footnote by the time its released.

Silent Lucidity - Queensryche - Needed another ballad for the list, but if you want my advice, as good as the Empire album was, every musician in worth his salt in that era knew Operation: Mindcrime was the album to listen too. A true concept album.

Peace Sells - Megadeth - "But who's buying?" Man, was Dave Mustaine a tool though.

Caught In A Mosh - Anthrax - Anthrax rules! I hate lumping this in a hair band, 80's metal list, but the lyrics mixed with Joey Belladonna's vocals make this quitessential of the lifestyle of the time.

2 Minutes to Midnight - Iron Maiden - "Put them in the iron maiden!" "Iron Maiden? Excellent!" Maiden really needs to be listened to on an album level, but if you need just one song.....

Too Young Too Fall In Love - Motley Crue - This song make my wife laugh EVERY time its on. I think it's the "Your love's a guillotine" part. That, and any recommendation for Shout at the Devil makes people look at me funny.

Bark At The Moon - Ozzy Osbourne - Another little known fact: My wife would have been an Ozzy groupie until she heard him speak. Wow...this is your brain on drugs!

Cowboys From Hell - Pantera - My buddy Rick and I played this song (and album) to death while road-tripping between Fresno and Sacramento (California) with nothing but a family pack of chili dogs and fries, or perhaps a ten-pack of tacos. Don't forget the beer money!

Last but not least:

Hot for Teacher - Van Halen - "I don't feel tardy". I wasn't supposed to watch this video when I was young either. Now I just lie and tell people I'm Waldo all grown up. "Got it made, got it made, got it made...."

Musica La Muxtape

My man Dayve turned me onto this site weeks ago but I've only recently done anything about it. http://muxtape.com basically lets you create online mixed tapes in streaming MP3. Here's my contributions:

http://turborip.muxtape.com

http://auditscrub.muxtape.com

It'll give you an intriguing look at what music strikes my fancy at any given moment of time. Just click on a track and enjoy!

I Can See You!

You see that sexy beast over there? That's right readers, I'm still here!

Just because I haven't posted in a while doesn't mean I don't know what's up. I read the headlines, the blogs, the chatter. I'm still around. I permeate everywhere.

I've been on cyberspace, obtaining my free copy of The Slip by Nine Inch Nails. Trent gave it to me. He said so on his blog.

I've been at University of Memphis, engaging in Cyber Security training and awareness, keeping America safe from people....well, from people like me, I guess.

I've been at AutoZone Park, watching the Redbirds lose badly to the Salt Lake Bees while enjoying a dog and cold beer. Who loses to a team named after an insect that makes tasty honey? It's like watching Winnie-The-Pooh get the beatdown.

I've been working, getting promotions and token raises, and finding The Man still wants to bring me down by allowing the firewall to block Blogspot!

I've been at home, watching my children grow like weeds, cop attitude, eat voraciously, play energetically, read Bible Stories ("Daddy, the mean lady [Jezebel] got eaten by the doggie?"), and speak incessantly.

I have NOT been at Beale Street Music Fest. I'm a cheapskate and didn't win tickets. Methinks it was best in the end, except in hindsight when I should have been there for one friend in particular.

I've been out for Free Comic Book Day, picking up swag no mere mortals deserve!

I've been out, learning to make my own beer, enjoying the whopping two weeks of spring Memphis allows before it gets too hot.

So when you're out next, enjoying whatever activity you are engaged in, remember this face! Remember, I'm here!